Sep 7, 2005
Welcome to the Spam Writers Institute. In today’s online marketplace companies can have their message lost in the vast sea of info overload that is constantly bombarding consumers.
With tons of useless information out there such as international news, domestic politics and terrorist alerts flooding valuable online advertising space, often it is the job of the Spammer ™ to break down these barriers. That’s where we come in: Teaching the fine art of Spam ™ and making a profit doing so.
Our students learn that it’s in the little nuances of the form and technique that make a Spam Writer truly great. Here at the Spam Writers Institute, our future Spammers ™ are standing on the shoulders of some of the greatest Spammers ™ who ever lived. We expect them to live up to that legacy and that is why when you hire a SWI graduate, you know you’re really getting someone special.
Read on and you will learn how to get started on the path to writing killer Spam ™ and to your own financial independence.
With the Spam Writers Institute Guide to Writing Spam ™ we teach how to write spam for Pornography, Online Gambling, & to solicit quasi-legal financial donations. This great book also comes with a CD Rom giving access to tutorials on our website demonstrating how easy it is to crank out viral, self generating, personalized emails that incapacitate email servers, costing businesses hundreds of hours of work time each year. It’s no surprise that The Spam Writers Institute website has been hailed as The Most Evil Place on the Internet ™ by The America Online Anti Spam Taskforce Newsletter.
Finally, how to write all the classics are here in one book! Featuring exclusive advice from our expert professors on how to write:
• Penis Enlargement Pills Spam
• Hair Plugs Spam
• Nicaraguan Refugee Seeking to put Money in your Bank Account Spam
• Breast Enlargement Pills Spam
• Computer Virus Generator Spam
• Penis Enlargement Pump Spam
• Spam Removal Spam
• Penis Enlargement Ointment Spam
• Infected Hair Plug Removal Spam
• Penis Enlargement Staple Gun Spam
All this and we will even throw in our patented Pop Up Window Generator™ software! With this book you could receive your PHD in Spam ™ in no time! Just like our founder Professor Spam.
So how can you order this great book you ask? You can’t. We don’t actually sell the Spam Writers Institute Guide to Writing Spam ™. That’s up to you and your associates!
When you purchase the Spam Writers Institute Kit ™ you’ll become a Spam Institute Independent Contractor and are empowered with the ability to earn a steady cash flow right from your own home! Following Our Plan you’ll see how easy it is to start your own Spam Writers Institute Distribution House ™ and watch it grow.
As one of the Spam Institutes Independent Contractors, you’re the boss, so you make the rules! It’s up to you to recruit as many more Spam Institute Independent Contractors working under you as possible in order to meet your personal financial goals. We can’t set them for you. Only you can take the initiative to reap the great rewards The Spam Writers Institute has put out there for you. Want to stop worrying about bills? Want to take that vacation you always dreamed of? Want to snort coke off a strippers cooch?
Then now is your time to start letting people know how they could be great Spam Institutes Independent Contractors as well! For each associate under you, in the Spam Institute Family, you gain a certain percentage of their sales of the Spam Writers Institute Kit ™. This then allows them to recruit more Spam Institutes Independent Contractors of their own which you also get a percentage of their sales… and your business grows and grows from there. It’s that easy!
To secure your financial independents today order:
The Spam Writers Institute Kit ™ $345.00
Please send check or money order payable to The Spam Writers Institute, 333 Flow Rd. Scranton, Pennsylvania, 20215.
“When I ordered Spam Writers Institute Kit ™ I didn’t quite learn how to write spam, but what I did learn is that when you mix capitalism, new technology and low educational aptitude, you get shit like this.”
–Garry Jones, Cleveland, OH.
“As a single mother of four with a nasty smack habit I was looking for a way out of hooking to feed my babies. The Spam Writers Institute gave me the financial independence I needed, and something to focus my life on. It was this or finding Jesus.”
–Marry Sitter, Syracuse, NY
“Writing and sending Spam ™ is illegal in my home state of Virginia, but authorities couldn’t touch me, because I never actually sent any Spam ™. I just sold people a kit on how to sell other people kits for The Spam Writers Institute….. I’m not really possitive that any actual goods or services were ever transacted…..”
-Alfred Smith, Richmond, VA.