Oct 14, 2006
Hi Everyone, God bless you and keep you as I welcome you to another weekly wax on walking the way of the word 
These are confusing times for us all. Some people can’t seem to tell right from wrong. And these people are starting to ask the question, ‘Is the war on Iraq in accordance with Christianity?’ Fortunately, we can all be safe in the knowledge that the people who ask the this question are going to hell.
Of course the war in Iraq is in accordance with Jesus. War is just like Democracy, Capitalism, and Free Floating Guilt. It is one of the bedrocks our faith. If we had not defeated the Muslim scourge in the First Crusade, then there never would have been a Second-Ninth Crusade, and I ask you, if the Christians had not been able to defeat the Muslims then, where would we be now? I’ll tell you where, underneath turbans, smoking hookahs, and wiping our bare behinds with our left hand while we eat with our right. I don’t know if that’s a sin, but being that it’s a natural bodily function, its better to error on the side of caution and assume that it will send you straight to hell without repentance. Is that what you want? I didn’t think so.
So, getting back to my original point, the war in Iraq, you might argue that people are dying. Well, they aren’t people, they’re Iraqi’s. We have already managed to get around that pesky ‘Thou Shalt not Kill’ commandment by our systematic dehumanizing of everyone, but “US”, so everything from here on out is gravy (gravy, tempting and not a sin, try that instead of Hummus next time, Akmed!) Iraqi’s do have the capacity to become people, but the only way they can do that is if they are first born….again! If they accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior and redeemer, not only will they save their eternal souls from infinite hellfire and seared flesh, but the bombs will also stop dropping. Our president would never bomb Christians, unlike some other more liberal presidents from our past (I’m looking at you FDR, they may be Nazi’s but they still believe in Jesus! Think about that when you wheel yourself around the lake of fire!)
It’s all so simple, once Iraq is turned into a good Christian nation, they will set the example for the rest of the “Islamo-Fascists” in helping them to see the light (You’d think that would be easy in the desert.) Next stop, Iran. And then Saudi Arabia. We get those guys on board, then it will an easy SUV ride on over to Jordan and Syria. And once those two see it right, we can finally take back Israel.
Oh come on, you should know perfectly well why we keep up such close ties with our embedded Jewish friends across the sea. A Jew is just a Christian who stopped reading a little too soon. Once they see how well those extra chapters helped us to halt their enemies, maybe, just maybe, they’ll see how wrong they’ve been. So, so wrong.
Move over Indiana Jones, this is the real Last Crusade.
Brad G.
