Sep 11, 2005
Kleiman Kinema Klub:
Normally we here at the KKK don’t review horror/thriller movies. I scare easily and I end up having to sleep in my parent’s bed. But the movie “Red Eye” intrigued me. It stars Rachel McAdams, who is a flat out hottie and just came off a very good performance in “Wedding Crashers”, and Cillian Murphy, who most recently was Scarecrow in the orgasmic “Batman Beyond”, you can’t lose.
A quick word about his performance in Batman. He was by far the creepiest batman villain ever. Now, I pride myself in the vast knowledge of three things: stalking, sports, and being creepy. No one enjoys creepy more than I do and he does creepy better than anyone I’ve seen in a while. And that’s because he doesn’t look the part, he’s a good looking guy and that is the key for the creepy, the more you don’t look creepy, the better, because they when you spring it on them, they shit their pants. That plus the eyes, eyes are key in creepy, and I don’t know if it was special effects, but his eyes…yikes. He didn’t even have to do the whole scarecrow routine to achieve the ranking of creepy, he had already achieved it in my book and I’ve already taken out a restraining order on him.
So, that being said I was looking forward to this movie and I would have liked to review it if the “Showtime at the Apollo” audience wasn’t sitting in front of me. I would have liked to review it if every scene of the movie wasn’t predicted before it actually happened. I would have liked to review if advice to the actors wasn’t given by a certain group of people. If there is one thing the KKK cannot stand at the movies is when a certain group of people cannot enjoy the movie quietly like everyone else. When certain people CROSS the KKK it really BURNS us, but I digress.
From what I could pick up Rachel McAdams plays character Lisa or Lauren who just came from someone’s funeral or bar mitzvah and she needs to get back home to one of the “New” States, I think it was New Jersey because when they said a bunch of shout outs came from the audience. Here’s where I think the plot thickens, there is only one flight going back to Jersey, this is an overnight flight commonly called the “dead eye”, or maybe it was “red eye”, that would make more sense. Anyway, she sits down and is soon after introduced to her row mate for the flight, Jackson, I couldn’t tell if that was his first or last name. As the movie progresses, turns out this Jackson character is a bad apple. He threatens to kill someone and if she doesn’t cooperate she’ll kill her father. Now, how he knows who and where her father is is beyond be, I didn’t hear because the person in front of me said during that part “fuck that, if someone tried to pull some shit on me like that, I’d be all BAM, PUNCH, KARATE CHOP IN YOUR NECK, MOTHERFUCKER!”
With me not really knowing the plot, I was going to leave, but we here at the KKK like to HANG around to the end even though I feel like these people LYNCHED me of a pleasant movie going experience. As expected the rest of the movie was lost on me, except for the part where Jackson kills her father, though he doesn’t get away with it, but I’ve said too much already.
Finally, on the “Super Scale” I’d give this 3 out of 5 Supremacy marks.
