The holidays are rough for everyone. The traveling, spending extra money, seeing those relatives that may or may not have touched you when you were little, it’s all a mess and just extra stress that no one needs in these already stressed packed days. So that’s why I’m proposing a holiday truncation.

Being Jewish I am well aware of the excessive holidays and I will be the first to tell you that all of the different holidays are a little overkill. A good number of them to go by the way side, mostly unnoticed and uncelebrated like the Flag Day, Arbor Day, and Columbus Day. Now imagine if more holidays were like them. Imagine if we devalued some of the bigger holidays and all the good it will do. Less travel, less money spent, and less time playing “Which Hole” with Uncle Ernie. It will take away a lot of unneeded stress.

Now it is just a matter of deciding which holidays should stay put and which should join the ranks of Earth Day and President’s Day.

We’ll start off this parade with Halloween:

This is going to be my most controversial one because I am going to cast this one aside to join the ranks of Flag Day. Don’t get me wrong; at Halloween you get free candy, it’s fantastic…for the first thirteen years then you stop trick or treating and join the other side. When you do that its bye bye free candy, now you have to buy buy the candy or face the consequences, plus you’re going to have to buy the candy for the next sixty plus years. It’s like you owe candy back taxes for all those years you indulged your sweet tooth. So here’s what it all boils down to: thirteen years of free candy does not equal sixty plus years of the provider of the “free” candy. Plus let’s not forget what happens if you don’t have candy or give out crappy candy, hope you’re low on smashed eggs and unfurled toilet paper. It’s nice at first, but it doesn’t last, Halloween is out.