Benchwarmers – There’s a reason you’re not a starter. The guy who played Napoleon Dynamite went from being a pop culture icon, to staring in a Rob Snyder movie overnight. Congratulations you’re the first person to literally have fifteen minutes of fame.

The Sentinel - If I wanna see Keifer Sutherland yell for 2 hours, I’ll watch back to back episodes of 24.

Just My Luck – Just my luck my threshold for pain isn’t that big.

RV – OK Robin Williams, we know you’re not funny anymore, but did you have to drag Cheryl Hines and Jeff Daniels into this? That’s just cruel. What does RV stand for anyway? Really Vindictive? Repulsive Video? Rarely Victorious?

The Da Vinci Code – L. Ron Hubbard called. He wants his idea back. Am I the only one that’s surprised a religion hasn’t been made out of this yet? Get Tom Cruise on the phone, maybe we can get him attached to this.

Mission Impossible 3 – Scientology jokes aside, this movie was written by J.J Abrams. The same J.J Abrams who wrote for Felicity and is currently writing Star Trek 9. So I’m assuming this movie is going to be a chick flick nerd movie…enjoy.

Stick It – Up your ass.

X-Men 3 – I can’t say anything bad at this movie? It’s going to be awesome.

Poseidon – This gem stars Richard Dreyfus and Kurt Russell. I wonder what’s sinking faster, the ship or their careers?

United 93 – I don’t have a joke here, that would in horrible taste. Can you imagine the delicious irony of this movie being out for a while and winding up on the in-flight movie rotation.