Nov 21, 2006
In 1991 the world suffered the loss of a legend. Loved by adults and children for decades, Dr. Seuss was more than just the man who wrote the most kick ass books ever. He was a pioneer in the art of making up words in order to make passable rhymes.
Recently a collection of lost stories were discovered by the Seuss estate. Steps were made to release the stories, but efforts were halted when the. Seuss family actually read some of the stories. His grand children, Sarah and Bruce Seuss decided to keep the stories under lock and key because “these stories were written at a time before he decided to dedicate his life to children. We feel that the reputation he spent years building could be tarnished by the release of these stories.”
But SuperAwesomeWow has been able to retrieve one of the lost Dr. Seuss stories, and of course we had to post it for you, our loyal readers. So enjoy…
“Lady of the Evening”
A lost story by Dr. Seuss
In a city
On the street
At the corner by a store
Works the nice little lady
Known in town as “The Whore.”
But she doesn’t like that word.
No, she doesn’t like its meaning.
For she knows she is truly
“A Lady of the Evening.”
Her high heeled boots
Zipped up to her knees.
Her shirt lets her cleavage
Flap in free the breeze.
Her short shorts hug tight
And give men ample views
Of her big, round and juicy
Spandex caboose.
She walks the street smoothly
With a slow steady gait,
Asking each passersby
“Hey, want a date?”
She works best at night.
Yes, that’s when she’s on.
Because that’s when they’re out,
The men she calls John.
They’re regular guys,
Just like you and like me.
Except there’s a chance- a good chance
This guy’s a Trekkie.
Just ordinary fellows, getting away from their lives
Like businessmen, doctors and men with fat wives
They come to her after a back breaking day.
But she won’t do a thing for them ‘less they can pay.
For ten bucks a head she’ll handle their noodle.
For twenty she’ll drop to her knees and snerkoodle.
For fifty she’ll give an amazing good time.
For a hundred “The Works” will blow a John’s mind.
She does her job well
And makes lots of cash.
But she has to pay up,
Or her pimp whoops that ass.
She gives up the wad
That she earned on her deals
When he arrives in his puffed, gaudy
Pink Pimpmobile.
In a fur coat and hat, he steps out of the Caddy
He’s one tough “mofo”.
And he’s known as Big Daddy.
“Bitch, where’s my money?” he growls with a sneer
As he throws a quick backhand up-side her ear.
She counts out the dollars, as is formal
But this wad of cash is much bigger than normal.
“What did you do to make all these bucks?”
“I learned a new trick,
“The Fangdoodle Deluxe”.
Johns pay good money to get it again and again.
It’s like a Snerkoodle with a Fangdab thrown in.”
He gives her a hug and says “Girl, you so fine!”
Then he smacks her again just to keep her in line.
“Now get back to work and make me that money.
Walk down the street, selling that honey.
But remember I love you, ‘cause you are so good.
You’re the best trick I’ve got workin’ this hood.”
She goes back to her rounds along the dark street
Leaning in cars for a new John to meet.
But don’t be quick to call her a Ho
For this Lady of the Evening may be someone you know.
