Dec 14, 2005
Hey, Grey’s Anatomy! Would you stop your fucking, and save my child? I know there’s a lot of drama between everyone on staff, but that seems to be secondary to, you know, saving lives, namely the life of my son.
Here’s a tip, maybe there wouldn’t be so much drama if you all showed a little self control, and stopped sleeping with each other. Is that possible? I mean, I know when you spend all day with someone you form a special bond, but can we all be professionals here and not act on them right now. Let’s try to keep our priorities in order.
Aren’t you all doctors? Didn’t you go to twelve years of medical school or something, and all so you could go around fucking co-workers and patients alike? It doesn’t seem like you need a medical degree to do that. Go work at a bar if you want to do that, but right now, let’s stay focused on the matter at hand and make sure my son doesn’t die.
I know, I know, sex changes everything, but everyone knows it’s not a good idea to mix business with pleasure. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and it’s not like being a doctor ever hurt anyone from getting laid. That’s right below musician, and drunken slutty girl on the laid factor. You know what? After this I’ll take you out to the strip club down the street for a lap dance; but first, it appears my son is losing lots of blood, so you might want to get on that.
Hey you, Asian with the big forehead. I know you and the black surgeon have a kind of interracial thing going on and he probably said something during your pillow talk session that isn’t sitting well with you. But, if you could stop exchanging glances and actually concentrate on keeping my son’s heart from stopping, that’d just be all kinds of super.
I don’t even know why I came to this hospital. What kind of a name is McDreamy for a doctor to have? And McSteamy? Do you also have a Dr. Pepper on staff? What about Dr. Octopus? Is Dr. Strangelove on call tonight? Where did you all get your degrees from, Fischer Price? I’m paying good money here, and for what? So that fat black haired girl of indeterminable race can have sex with that kinda chubby guy, even though he’s living with that blonde girl who is way hotter, and seems less bitchy. Actually, can I have her as my doctor? She did what? Tried to kill one of her patients? Jesus Christ, what kind of hospital are you running here?
How come other than that short, black woman, I haven’t seen one unattractive person working here? What kind of hiring process do you practice here? Where’s that “ER” hospital, they seem to take things more seriously. I’d even take the “Scrubs” hospital over this; at least they try. Shit, I’d settled for “Chicago Hope” at this point, because this is ridiculous.
Oh great, my son is now dead, because you people couldn’t keep it in your pants for twenty minutes! Well, I’m sure this is really going to tear you apart. I wonder who you’ll find comfort in this emotional state. Surely one of your charming, attractive, and remarkably loose co-workers will make room in their bed for you. I hope you fucking die.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
