Aug 2, 2006
Kleiman Kinema Klub: I’m telling you right now, this is going to be a short review because if I write too long about this movie, I won’t be able to see because of all the blood coming out of my eyes. Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift. Where to begin?
First off, if it’s taking place in Tokyo, shouldn’t the movie be called “Fast and the Fulious”? Oh and how about the fact that the movie takes place in Tokyo and yet somehow EVERYONE speaks English and not even broken Chinese take-out food English, PERFECT ENGLISH.
In a country on the other side of the world! All of those pretentious college grads that go over there to teach English and really find themselves must be doing a hell of a job.
Also, the cast has changed for every movie. Vin Disel turning down a part is bad enough, but when Paul Walker does it, you just gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.
Now Bow Wow and Lucas Black are your leads *shudder*.
Who is Lucas Black? Is he the black version of that Daily Show correspondent? And is Bow Wow even old enough to drive?
But they were able to manage some star power by casting Zachary Ty Bryan…name sounds familiar, I know…know you’ve seen it somewhere, but where? It’s on the tip of your tongue. Give up? Here’s a hint: I think Wilson on the other side of the fence might know.
That’s right, he is none of than Brad Taylor from TV’s own “Home Improvement”! I guess Jonathan Taylor Thomas was too busy filming “Wild America 2: Wild Hard with a Vengeance”.
However, perhaps I judge too soon. Sometimes good writing and directing can make up for lack of big name talent. I mean, look at “Crash”, other than Don Cheadle, they’re biggest name was Matt Dillon and they won the Oscar for Best Film. So let’s take a look at the people behind the scenes.
It took three people to write this movie. I’ll say that again incase you had to wipe the blood out of your eyes as well. It took THREE (3) people to write this movie. It would take two monkeys to churn out the same thing and be a hell of a lot cheaper (feel free to make your own “he works for peanuts” joke here).
OK, so writing is out, but what about directing?
The director was Justin Lin. While that name might not be synonymous as Tarantino or Spielberg, he does have his claim to fame. This is the same Justin Lin that directed “Annapolis” which was called by many the worst movie of 2006. So with that distinction, we wanted to go back to his roots and directed the 3rd installment of a movie that shouldn’t have been made in the first place.
On a scale from 1 to 5, I give this movie a 1…as in 1 pint of blood that came out of my eyes while writing this.
