Jun 1, 2006
The phenomena amazes me. The phenomena makes me envious. The phenomena makes me ask, “Why not me, dear Lord?”. I’m sure scholars and psychologists are at this very moment barricaded in their cubby-hole offices, puffing away on their pipes as stacks of case folders and computer data and overflow from their desks.Their analytic minds work overtime and feverishly as they try to answer the baffling question of…. why are hot female teachers suddenly introducing their young students to the joyous world of sex?
I suppose the first time everyone really heard of this was by following the Mary Kay Letourneau scandal. Naturally, I too followed the sordid details of the story with keen interest, but at the time it just seemed like “one of those things” that had occurred, not unlike those occasional news stories where police report finding stacks of mummified and decomposed bodies piled on top of each other in the basement of some rural crematorium. But watch the news or read the papers now… Florida, New Jersey, California. It has become an epidemic like something out of “Night Of The Living Dead”…. only in a good way!
Comments: This is just her police-booking photo for crying out loud! Very hot blonde. Extra points
given for having sex in the back seat of her car while the lucky lad’s cousin drove them around
(shows exhibitionistic qualities… yeah, baby!).
Additional Information: Excerpt from the police report: “At the request of investigators, the student
gave them a description of Lafave’s tattoo, tan lines, and private parts”.
Hot Rating: Hot! Hot! Hot! A solid 10. Debbie sets the standards that all others will have to strive to
match. In addition to be a real cutie, let us reiterate her exhibitionist tendencies. And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the tattoo, and the student’s vivid memory of her private parts. Man, they must be a doozy! I wonder if he drew police a diagram of them?
Comments: Okay, so she’s not as good looking as Debbie, but here’s the kicker… her student was
also female. Yessssssh! Extra points will be awarded at a later date if it is revealed that Jaymee is
Additional Information: This go-get-her took the initiative by stapling a note to a paper of the
student’s that read, “You’re really attractive”. The affair with Jaymee’s young, nubile protégée
lasted 19 months. Just imagine all those warm, steamy showers they took together after the other
players had left!
Hot Rating: A makeover and more fashionable hair style would definitely help. Still, it’s hard to
knock Jaymee’s aggressiveness, and the fact that the affair lasted 19 months must show that
Jaymee could more than just dribble a basketball. I rate her a 7, but that score could go up with a
little effort. Stay tuned.
Comments: Extra points for screwing the kid in his own house while parents were home (“Oh, hello
Mrs. Smithers. I just happen to be here at one in the morning to tutor Ritchie on proper sexual
Additional Information: Started the affair by text messaging “I think you’re cute” to the student.
Engaged in both oral sex and intercourse a minimum of 12 times… time frame of encounters
unknown. Information on “swallower” or “spitter” during oral sex unavailable.
Hot Rating: What can I say? Another hot blonde! I rate her a 9, but that score could easily go up if
rumors of tattoos and detailed diagrams of her private parts surface.
Comments: I cry every time I remember this incident.
Additional Information: I was asked by Miss Albertson to portray Santa Claus during our school’s 1966 “Christmas Jubilee”. As an aspiring young actor, I’d had the supporting role of Jacob Marley in our own classroom’s previous year’s staging of “A Christmas Carol”, but with the “Christmas Jubilee” being held in the gymnasium, I’d finally hit the big time, and I was thrilled to be chosen for such an important part of this extravaganza. I was to close the show… being pulled on stage in a cardboard sled by my “elves” during the Glee Club’s finale of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”.
As the time approached, I entered a backstage janitor’s closet to change into my Santa outfit. Moments later, the door unexpectedly opened, and there stood Miss Albertson. To this day, I can remember the look in her eyes as she gazed at me. Two words come to mind to describe that look… crazily depraved. I was pounced upon before I could even react. The pillow under my outfit that was to represent my “bowl full of jelly” was quickly pulled away. Her wrinkled, spindly hands groped my now trembling body as she asked if I’d “ever had my candy cane sucked”. I couldn’t speak. At my young, innocent age I didn’t even know what she meant, not that it mattered, because seconds later, my vinyl belt was opened and my red costume pants were yanked to my knees. And then… my candy cane was indeed sucked. When she was done having her way with me, Miss Albertson rose up, wiped off her lips and patted my head, and told me to get dressed. “’l’ll have the Glee Club do another verse to give you time”, she stated as she turned and walked out the door. And that was that… except for the years of therapy that followed.
Hot Rating: Are you fucking nuts? Out of pure kindness I can give her a 1, but maybe bump that up to a 2 after she took her dentures out.