May 2, 2011
Pakistan – Members of the “9/11 Terrorist 10-Year Reunion” committee were shocked today when they learned that their chairman, Osama Bin Laden, was killed in a tragic accident at his home in Abbottabad, Pakistan, months before their much anticipated reunion. The event will be postponed, and possibly cancelled all together.
The committee was left reeling as they scrambled to pick up the planning where Bin Laden had left off: figuring out what venue he had decided on, what supplies he had already ordered, whether he was thinking black-tie or casual, and in general, struggling to stay optimistic.
“It’s a definite shock,” said al Qaeda terrorist and committee co-chair Aabanali Hadiyatullah. “Not only will this put a damper on the whole party, but ol’ Binny was in charge of basically everything, from the catering to ordering chairs, and he never wrote anything down. We’ll definitely lose our deposit on the venue, and we already sent out the invites, for Allah’s sake. This is such a mess.”
According to official reports, Bin Laden, described by neighbors as being a nice, quiet, fellow who kept to himself mostly, was enjoying some Sunday evening downtime when US Navy SEAL’s broke into his home without warning and shot him in the face.
“I admit, this will put a huge damper on our ten-year reunion,” said terrorist Aalee “Killer of Infidels” bin Roohul Qudus, “But I think it’s a mistake to cancel. We should still do it. It’s what he would have wanted. He’ll be watching the party from heaven with his 72 virgins now, Allah bless him.”
When asked for comment, Allah, also know as God, Supreme Creator, and “The Big Guy,” mentioned that he had indeed brought Bin Laden to heaven, but only to let the people he killed on 9/11 kick his ass before sending him to hell.
As of press time, the committee was gathered at their headquarters still trying to figure out what to do while a fleet of US Boeing F-15SE Silent Eagles were in route to their location with a butt-load of missiles.