I’m a dating aficionado; there’s no girl in the world I don’t know how to seduce. I get into the hottest clubs with the hottest chicks and leave with every single one of them at the same time. I literally have one billion girls’ phone numbers in my iPhone. And that’s just from this past weekend. Now I may be a player, but I’m certainly not selfish...

Pakistan – Members of the “9/11 Terrorist 10-Year Reunion” committee were shocked today when they learned that their chairman, Osama Bin Laden, was killed in a tragic accident at his home in Abbottabad, Pakistan, months before their much anticipated reunion. The event will be postponed, and possibly cancelled all together. The committee was left...

I don’t just want to be rich, I want to be crazy rich. Really crazy rich. And I’m not just talking African-babies wear-my-sunglasses-indoors crazy, I’m talking Howard Hughes, Charlie Sheen, Tom-Cruise-beating-up-Oprah crazy. I’m talking throwing babies out of windows, face tattoos, hiring midgets as house furniture crazy rich. This is what I’d do...

New York, NY: Rocked this past week by devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, and nuclear meltdowns, Japanese civilians are struggling to find food, water, and computers to fill out their NCAA tournament brackets. Many have scrambled unsuccessfully to find any source of internet or WiFi connectivity in order to complete their brackets before the Thursday morning...